This book appears in the following booklists
in categories:Childrens & Teenage Books, Fiction,
Dark Lord: The Teenage Years
£5.99 paperback Hachette Children's Books (2012)
Winner of the 2012 Roald Dahl Funny Prize!
"I will tell you all my secrets. But then of course I'm going to have to kill you..."
Thirteen-year-old schoolboy, Dirk Lloyd, has a dark secret - in fact he is a dark secret. Dirk - according to his own account - is the earthly incarnation of a Dark Lord, supreme ruler of the Darklands and leader of great armies of orcs and warriors, intent on destruction and bloody devastation. Following a colossal final battle between the forces of good and evil, the Dark Lord was defeated and hurled by his arch-foe's spells into the Pit of Uttermost Despair. At the bottom of the Pit lies...a supermarket car park in the municipal town of Whiteshields, somewhere in modern day England. And when he is found, and tries to explain that he is the Dark Lord, people think he means Dirk Lloyd. The fact that he's trapped in the puny body of a schoolboy doesn't help.
And so begins Dirk's battle to recover his dignity, his power, and his lands... Along the way he faces the inconvenience of being fostered by a do-gooding family, the Purejoies; the torture of endless hours of drudgery at the Whiteshields Brainwashing Centre (aka school); a vengeful Headmaster; two interfering Psychotic Persecutors (psychotherapists); and constant laughter and disrespect when he attempts to marshall his lackeys and lickspittles (friends) to do what he wants them to.
Dirk makes friends with the son of his foster family, Christopher, and the local Goth Girl, Sooz, and together they attempt to cast a spell that will transport Dirk back to his homeland. Inevitably, not everything goes to plan... But that's for book 2.
ISBN 13: 9781408315118 | ISBN 10: 1408315114
For mail-order we charge postage at actual cost, at current Royal Mail rates by parcel weight and size
Please note: Neither this website nor our order website can tell you if a book is actually in the shop right now - please contact us to find out.
Prices - we do our best to keep price information up to date, but publishers very occasionally change book prices, so we cannot completely guarantee the prices shown here.
We're always happy to check price & availability for you before you place your order, just ask!